Switzerland

Wow! Switzerland rocks! We stayed with Elke, the daughter of Hans and Gisela, Jutta’s sister (you may remember her from our last chapter). She is a very funny lady. She is a biker chick, and so tough, but also married to a short Swiss guy with thick Harry Potter glasses. They were sooooo nice and showed us all around and fed us really well. The first night we had fondue (hooray!) and it had whole garlic cloves in it that you get to pick out when you find them. In Switzerland if you lose your bread in the pot you have to buy the table a bottle of wine.

Elke showed us around the old town of Zurich and a little neighborhood called Oerlikon. We took the trolley and boat around. We took the boat to the other side of Zurichsee, the big lake that Zurich is on the end of. It was cool, it had a castle, cathedral and a cool building that is now the Polish Museum. The day that we saw all this, we took the train back to Oerlikon and met Walter at their regular pub with all their friends. Peter spoke French to some of them. They were all going to the pub that night because it was going to be closed for 2 weeks so the owners could go on vacation. The owner was a funny dude, Peter couldn’t understand his French, but Elke said she couldn’t understand his German, he always slurs because he drinks all day while his wife runs the pub.

The next day Elke took us to see a mountain. On the way we got lost, and stumbled upon a livestock show. There were goats, cows, people dressed in traditional Swiss outfits, and bells and butter churns everywhere. All the cows in Switzerland wear bells around their necks and it sounds really cool when they are all munching grass in the field. The cows were mooing and shitting everywhere, but they were cool despite the fact that Bea got cow shit on her shoes and pants. The goats were fighting; they kept jumping up and ramming heads. There was a group of little kids standing by in their little Swiss outfits watching the goats. Everytime the goats butted heads (and it was really loud) the kids laughed, said, “Ohhh” and rubbed their heads. So we stood with them a while and did the same. After we got unlost we took the gondola up the mountain and saw six countries from the top of the mountain; Switzerland, Lichtenstein, Germany, France, Italy and Austria. After the mountain we went to this little town, Appenzell with great Swiss buildings. We sat down to eat, and these old ladies started streaming in. Soon the whole place was full of old ladies and men. They even took the other chairs from our table. They started singing and yodeling and telling jokes in what Elke said was the traditional Swiss language. She couldn’t understand it either. It was really good, they sang perfectly and in perfect harmony. We were really glad we got to see that. So we had two really cool accidental traditional Swiss experiences in one day. We both said it was our best Europe day so far.

The next day we went to the local market with Elke, who insisted on buying us everything there to eat on the train the next day. Then we went to a knitting store, got some stuff to knit (because we are now out of books). Then we went to another mountain and 2 more mountain towns with Elks and Walter. We saw a really cool church that was all painted on the inside ceiling. The drive there and back was really beautiful. When we went back Elke stuffed us with all kinds of food and told us they might not feed us on the farm.

There are some things Bea has observed about the German relatives. One is they never let you pay, but say that you can pay when they come to the USA. Another is that they fuss over you. For instance, if you are doing laundry they will pretty much do it for you. "Do you want to separate colors and whites?" "No, it's ok." "Yes, you do." Or, "What temperature do you want the water?” “Hot.” “No, your clothes will shrink, warm is better." Or, "Do you want more food?" "No thank you." "Here is another sausage, beer, cheesecake, fried apple and salad." This last example is especially bad with Peter, boy do they love feeding him! But the problem is what Klaus said, he really can’t say "No." So they load him up with beer, tequila, cognac, whiskey, pizza, sausage, pork, cheese, ice cream. Just last night Peter was complaining about how full he was because Elke gave him four sausages and a cheese thing, and all the salad, then she came back with dessert. Then she came back again and told Peter if he just took the last scoop of ice cream the box would be empty. So he took it! They are really great though, I hope they really do come to the states, it would be really fun to show them around.

Distant German Relatives

We were able to stay with Bea’s grandmother’s cousin Klaus and his wife Ingreid in Osnabruck, Germany for a while. We spent most of our time playing with Klaus and Ingried’s grandchildren who live upstairs; Madita is 5 and Pia is 7. You will see many, many pictures of them. They are so cool, Pia rides a unicycle and horses and does some kind of acrobatic thing on horses as well. Madita likes to both teach us German, and take advantage of our not knowing German. Fortunately for us we know the words "shit" and "ass" in German. We do know quite a bit more of German thanks to her. Some funny things she said:

(Madita points at the ground) Bea: (in German of course)"Poop?" Madita: "No, not poop, bird shit.”

Bea and Peter are outside drawing/writing in journals. Madita comes out and looks through Peter's entire journal that has maybe 2 or 3 drawings. She tells him he has to draw a picture, and he can’t copy Bea and if he does he will get a prize. Later, while everyone is having coffee Madita tells her parents, "Bea drew lots of things, and Peter? Not one!"

Also Pia and Madita stuffed Peter’s clothes and shoes and called him "Blot und shtalk Peter." That is the pronunciation of the German words for leaf and stem, not spelled correctly.

The second night we were there (the first we just spent chilling and drinking with Klaus and Ingeid) Klaus' son Frank and another cousin’s (Hans, who passed away and his wife Gisela) daughter Jutta took us out on the town. We went to what they call the old city, the more historic part of town and went pub hopping. We went to a microbrewery and some small pubs, then out for Portuguese food. It was a way cool restaurant, they had big long tables that you share with other groups. You order plates and share them with your group appetizer style. They had the best olives and some fish stuff. We had a really good time with Frank and Jutta.

Klaus took us around some German countryside, and we went to the neighborhood block party where we had paella for dinner with all the German neighbors. After wining and dining there for a while, Klaus's sons, Frank and Heiku, took us out to a biker bar. It wasn’t like an American Biker bar, mostly it was a cool little pub with murals of motorcycles and some mild biker types sitting around chatting. When we got back everyone was heading off to bed (Frank was sleeping on their couch and Heiku lives upstairs), when the doorbell started ringing like mad. Frank opened the door to a very drunk Ingreid and her gaggle of giggling girls. It was really funny, these four old ladies stumbling around and Frank teasing his mother. It was great, and then Frank told us other drunk Ingreid stories. But she still got up super early to make breakfast and cook a big ole’ lunch!

We spent most of the time hanging out with Klaus and his family, which we no know are way cool, and being shown around the town. We saw old churches, a sculpture park and the town and countryside of Osnabruck and Bisendorf. Oh, and being cooked extravagant meals by Ingreid.